Sue Monk Kidd’s The Secret Life of Bees invites readers into the tumultuous summer of 1964 alongside fourteen-year-old Lily Owens.
Fleeing her harsh father and haunted by the blurred memory of her mother’s death, Lily finds refuge and unexpected family with the Boatwright sisters, three Black beekeeping women in Tiburon, South Carolina.
Guided by August’s wisdom, the nurturing presence of the Black Madonna, and the secret world of bees, Lily navigates themes of loss, guilt, prejudice, forgiveness, and the enduring power of love and resilience.
This collection gathers 44 pivotal quotes from the novel, meticulously verified against the Penguin Books First Edition (2003).
Organized by theme and accompanied by brief analysis, these quotes capture the essence of Lily’s journey, the wisdom of the Boatwright sisters, and the profound truths found within the humming world of the hive.
Delving into life, loss, and the sting of reality…
Life, Death, and Perspective
“People who think dying is the worst thing don’t know a thing about life.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 1, Page 6
This early reflection establishes Lily’s burdened perspective, shaped by trauma and a premature understanding that emotional pain can outweigh the fear of death itself.
“Sunset is the saddest light there is.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 2, Page 44
“There’s nothing like a song about lost love to remind you how everything precious can slip from the hinges where you’ve hung it so careful.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 2, Pages 44-45
Lily’s observation captures the bittersweet nature of memory and the fragility of happiness, highlighting how easily cherished things can be lost.
“I realized it for the first time in my life: there is nothing but mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor, browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don’t even know it.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 3, Page 55
Finding the Black Madonna honey jars sparks an epiphany in Lily, revealing the hidden wonder and significance that can exist even within ordinary or difficult lives.
“The world will give you that once in awhile, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 5, Page 70
“After you get stung, you can’t get unstung no matter how much you whine about it.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 9, Page 167
“Every human being on the face of the earth has a steel plate in his head, but if you lie down now and then and get still as you can, it will slide open like elevator doors, letting in all the secret thoughts that have been standing around so patiently, pushing the button for a ride to the top. The real troubles in life happen when those hidden doors stay closed for too long.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 11, Page 170
This metaphor illustrates the importance of introspection and acknowledging one’s inner thoughts and feelings to avoid deeper psychological turmoil.
“And I was struck all at once how life was out there going through its regular courses, and I was suspended, waiting, caught in a terrible crevice between living my life and not living it.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 11, Page 176
“Knowing can be a curse on a person’s life. I’d traded in a pack of lies for a pack of truth, and I didn’t know which one was heavier. Which one took the most strength to carry around? It was a ridiculous question, though, because once you know the truth, you can’t ever go back and pick up your suitcase of lies. Heavier or not, the truth is yours now.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 12, Pages 255-256
Lily grapples with the burden of truth, recognizing its irreversible nature and the weight it carries compared to the deceptive comfort of lies.
“There is nothing perfect…only life.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 12, Page 256
“In a weird way I must have loved my little collection of hurts and wounds. They provided me with some real nice sympathy, with the feeling I was exceptional…What a special case I was.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 14, Page 278
“It is the peculiar nature of the world to go on spinning no matter what sort of heartbreak is happening.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 14, Page 279
“Drifting off to sleep, I thought about her. How nobody is perfect. How you just have to close your eyes and breathe out and let the puzzle of the human heart be what it is.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 14, Page 285
Exploring the profound impact of maternal figures, absence, and inner strength…
Motherhood, Love, and Belonging
“You can tell which girls lack mothers by the look of their hair…”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 1, Page 6
“The body knows things a long time before the mind catches up to them. I was wondering what my body knew that I didn’t.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 4, Page 60
Upon entering the Boatwright house, Lily experiences an intuitive sense of belonging, highlighting the body’s capacity for recognition before conscious understanding.
“Place a beehive on my grave
And let the honey soak through.
When I’m dead and gone,
That’s what I want from you.
The streets of heaven are gold and sunny,
But I’ll stick with my plot and a pot of honey.
Place a beehive on my grave
And let the honey soak through.”~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (The Honey Song), Chapter 5, Page 71
Taught by May, this simple song reflects the sisters’ deep connection to bees, honey, and the earth, finding sweetness and continuity even in the face of mortality.
“I wanted to know what happened when two people felt it. Would it divide the hurt in two, make it lighter to bear, the way feeling someone’s joy seemed to double it?”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 5, Page 80
“Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can’t remember who we are or why we’re here.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 6, Page 90
August emphasizes the vital role of storytelling in preserving identity, history, and cultural memory, linking personal narratives to a larger sense of purpose.
“Did you know there are thirty-two names for love in one of the Eskimo languages?” August said. “And we just have this one. We are so limited, you have to use the same word.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 8, Page 116
“We are so limited, you have to use the same word for loving Rosaleen as you do for loving Coke with peanuts. Isn’t that a shame we don’t have many more ways to say it?”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 8, Page 116
August highlights the limitations of English in expressing the diverse forms of love, suggesting the richness and complexity of human affection.
“Actually, you can be bad at something…but if you love doing it, that will be enough. – August Boatwright”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 9, Page 138
“I watched him, filled with tenderness and ache, wondering what it was that connected us. Was it the wounded places down inside people that sought each other out, that bred a kind of love between them?”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 9, Page 152
Lily contemplates the nature of connection, suggesting that shared pain and vulnerability can foster a unique and profound form of love.
“It’s something everybody wants-for someone to see the hurt done to them and set it down like it matters.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 9, Page 152
“When it’s time to die, go ahead and die, and when it’s time to live, live. Don’t sort-of-maybe live, but live like you’re going all out, like you’re not afraid.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 10, Page 173
August imparts wisdom learned from May’s note, urging June (and implicitly, Lily) to embrace life fully and without reservation, contrasting it with May’s weariness.
“It was the oldest sound there was. Souls flying away.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 10, Page 175
“It was the first time I’d ever said the words to another person, and the sound of them broke open my heart.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 12, Page 199
“My mother’s life was way too heavy for me.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 12, Page 205
“You have to find a mother inside yourself. We all do. Even if we already have a mother, we still have to find this part of ourselves inside”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 14, Page 288
August offers profound guidance on inner resilience and self-mothering, suggesting that true maternal strength is a quality to be cultivated within oneself.
“And when you get down to it, Lily, that is the only purpose grand enough for a human life. Not just to love but to persist in love.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 14, Page 289
“If you need something from somebody always give that person a way to hand it to you.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 14, Page 298
“In the photograph by my bed my mother is perpetually smiling on me. I guess I have forgiven us both, although sometimes in the night my dreams will take me back to the sadness, and I have to wake up and forgive us again.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 14, Page 301
Lily reflects on the ongoing nature of forgiveness, portraying it not as a single event but as a continuous process of healing and reconciliation with the past.
Unpacking wisdom from the world of bees and the strong women who tend them…
Bees, Wisdom, and the Feminine Divine
“I hadn’t been out to the hives before, so to start off she gave me a lesson in what she called ‘bee yard etiquette’. She reminded me that the world was really one bee yard, and the same rules work fine in both places. Don’t be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, don’t be an idiot; wear long sleeves and pants. Don’t swat. Don’t even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agitates while whistling melts a bee’s temper. Act like you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t. Above all, send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator, relaying August Boatwright‘s words), Chapter 5, Page 78
August’s ‘bee yard etiquette’ serves as a metaphor for life, emphasizing respect, calmness, confidence, and the universal need for love as essential principles for navigating the world.
“Nobody around here had ever seen a lady beekeeper till her. She liked to tell everybody that women made the best beekeepers, ’cause they have a special ability built into them to love creatures that sting. It comes from years of loving children and husbands.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 8, Page 119
“women made the best beekeepers ’cause they have a special ability built into them to love creatures that sting.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 8, Page 119
This quote highlights August’s belief in a unique feminine strength derived from nurturing and enduring difficult love, connecting it directly to the art of beekeeping.
“August: You know, some things don’t matter that much…like the color of a house…But lifting a person’s heart–now that matters. The whole problem with people–”
Lily: They don’t know what matters and what doesn’t…
August:…They know what matters, but they don’t choose it…The hardest thing on earth is to choose what matters.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Characters: August Boatwright and Lily Melissa Owens), Chapter 8, Page 122
August distinguishes between superficial concerns and genuine human connection, suggesting true difficulty lies not in knowing what’s important but in actively choosing it.
“The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 8, Page 122
“Honeybees depend not only on physical contact with the colony, but also require it’s social companionship and support. Isolate a honeybee from her sisters and she will soon die.
—The Queen Must Die: And Other Affairs of Bees and Men”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Epigraph), Chapter 8, Page 114
This epigraph uses the honeybee colony as a metaphor for human interdependence, underscoring the essential need for community and social connection for survival and well-being.
Facing prejudice, finding identity, and the struggle for fairness…
Race, Identity, and Justice
“Up until then I’d thought that white people and colored people getting along was the big aim, but after that I decided everybody being colorless together was a better plan. I thought of that policeman, Eddie Hazelwurst, saying I’d lowered myself to be in this house of colored women, and for the very life of me I couldn’t understand how it had turned out this way, how colored women had become the lowest ones on the totem pole. You only had to look at them to see how special they were, like hidden royalty among us. Eddie Hazelwurst. What a shitbucket.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 7, Page 172
Lily confronts the absurdity and injustice of racial hierarchy, recognizing the inherent dignity and “royalty” of the Boatwright sisters in direct contrast to the policeman’s prejudice.
“Nothing’s fair in this world. You might as well get that straight right now”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Terrence Ray (T. Ray) Owens), Chapter 5, Page 81
“You gotta imagine what’s never been.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Zach Taylor), Chapter 7, Page 101
“We can’t think of changing our skin color. Change the world – that’s how we gotta think.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Zach Taylor), Chapter 11, Page 177
Zach articulates a powerful message of focusing on societal change rather than altering one’s identity to fit into a prejudiced world.
“You think you want to know something, and then once you do, all you can think about is erasing it from your mind.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: Lily Melissa Owens as the narrator), Chapter 12, Page 205
“You have to know when to prod and when to be quiet, when to let things take their course.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 12, Page 194
“People can start out one way, and by the time life gets through with them they end up completely different.”
~Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees, (Character: August Boatwright), Chapter 12, Page 204
The Enduring Sting and Sweetness
The Secret Life of Bees, through Lily’s narration and the Boatwright sisters’ wisdom, explores the complex interplay of love, loss, prejudice, and the search for belonging.
These 44 quotes offer glimpses into the profound journey of healing and self-discovery found within the sanctuary of the pink house and the mystical world of bees. The novel reminds us that even amidst pain, resilience can bloom, and finding a ‘mother inside yourself’ is a universal quest.
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A Note on Page Numbers & Edition:
These quotes and page numbers reference the Penguin Books; First Edition (January 28, 2003), ISBN-13: 978-0142001745. Like bees finding new nectar sources, page numbers may vary slightly in other editions!
Jeremy Mortis, founder of Ageless Investing, applies a rigorous analytical approach (the AAM framework) to distill timeless wisdom and contextualized quotes from classic literature, saving you time while deepening understanding. Learn more about Jeremy’s unique background and methodology on his author bio page.