In “If I Stay,” a tragic accident leaves seventeen-year-old Mia’s world shattered.
She’s lost between life and death, forced to make a choice that will ultimately determine her fate.
Mia relives her past memories, the love of her family, and her passion for music.
She must weigh the consequences of staying and fighting for her life or letting go and embracing the unknown.
If I Stay Quotes With Page Numbers
“How am I supposed to decide this? How can I possibly stay without mom and dad? How can I leave without Teddy? Or Adam? This is too much. I don’t even understand how it all works, why I’m here in the state that I’m in or how to get out of it if I wanted to. If I were to say, I want to wake up, would I wake up right now? I’ve already tried snapping my heels to find Teddy and tried to beam myself to Hawaii, and that didn’t work. This seems a whole lot more complicated.
But in spite of that, I believe it’s true. I hear the nurse’s words again. I am running the show. Everyone’s waiting on me.
I decide. I know this now.
And this terrifies me more than anything else that has happened today.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, An Impossible Choice
If I Stay 9:23 AM
“We are like Humpty Dumpty and all these king’s horses and all these king’s men cannot put us back together again”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 9:23 AM, Page 17
“You just work through it. You just hang in there.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Denny Hall, 9:23 AM, Page 22
If I Stay 3:47 PM
“I want you to play me like a cello.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 3:47 PM, Page 52
If I Stay 4:39 PM
“She didn’t care that people called her a bitch. ‘It’s just another word for feminist,’ she told me with pride.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 4:39 PM, Page 62
. “I might have been eleven years old and a little socially immature, but I recognized a gauntlet being thrown down when I saw it, and I had no choice but to take it up.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 4:39 PM, Page 62
“People believe what they want to believe.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 4:39 PM, Page 65
If I Stay 4:47 PM
“Girlfriend is such a stupid word. I couldn’t stand calling her that. So, we had to get married, so I could call her ‘wife.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall quoting her father, 4:47 PM, Page 73
“If you can’t trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child?”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall recalling her mother’s bumper sticker, 4:47 PM, Page 74
If I Stay 5:40 PM
“If I stay. If I live. It’s up to me.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:40 PM, Page 77
“I understood all that in my head, but I still didn‟t believe it in my heart.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:40 PM, Page 82
“Fake it ’till you make it.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:40 PM, Page 83
“Fake it till you make it actually worked.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:40 PM, Page 86
“This is the you I like. You definitely dressed sexier and are, you know, blond, and that’s different. But the you who are tonight is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you I’ll be in love with tomorrow. I love that you’re fragile and tough, quiet and kick-ass. ”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 5:40 PM, Page 89
“But the you who you are tonight is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you I’ll be in love with tomorrow.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 5:40 PM, Page 89
If I Stay 8:12 PM
“Every fiction has its base in fact.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kim Schein, 8:12 PM, Page 107
“But I also know that sometimes Adam needs to do things the dramatic way. He is fond of the Grand Gesture”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 8:12 PM, Page 108
“It doesn’t rain every day. Just every other day.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Peter Hellman, 8:12 PM, Page 116
If I Stay 9:06 PM
“Don’t be scared…Women can handle the worst kind of pain. You’ll find out one day.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kat Hall quotes Mia Hall, 9:06 PM, Page 138
“I know that all the magic kisses in the world probably couldn’t have helped him today. But I would do anything to have been able to give him one.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 9:06 PM, Page 141
If I Stay 10:40 PM
“And now I am here, as alone as I’ve ever been. I am seventeen years old. This is not how it’s suppose to be. This is not how my life is suppose to turn out.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 10:40 PM, Page 146
“I’m not sure this is a world I belong in anymore. I’m not sure that I want to wake up.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 10:40 PM, Page 146
“You can have your wishes, your plans, but at the end of the day, it’s out of your control.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Denny Hall, 10:40 PM, Page 152
If I Stay 2:48 AM
“I don’t really care. I shouldn’t have to care. I shouldn’t have to work this hard. I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall, 2:48 AM, Page 155
“I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 2:48 AM, Page 155
“Sleep would be so welcome. A warm blanket of black to erase everything else. Sleep without dreams. I’ve heard people talk about the sleep of the dead. Is that what death would feel like? The nicest, warmest, heaviest never-ending nap? If that’s what it’s like, I wouldn’t mind. If that’s what dying is like, I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 2:48 AM, Page 159
“Is that what death would feel like? The nicest, warmest, heaviest never-ending nap? If that’s what it’s like, I wouldn’t mind.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 2:48 AM, Page 159
“Sleep would be so welcome.
A warm blanket of black to erase everything else. Sleep without dreams.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 2:48 AM, Page 159
“I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It’s okay if you have to leave us. It’s okay if you want to stop fighting.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Gramps, 2:48 AM, Page 161
“It’s ok if you want to stop fighting.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Gramps, 2:48 AM, Page 161
“It’s okay,’ he tells me. ‘If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.’ His voice cracks with emotion. He stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues. ‘But that’s what I want and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It’s okay if you have to leave us. It’s okay if you want to stop fighting.’
For the first time since I realized that Teddy was gone, too, I feel something unclench. I feel myself breathe. I know that Gramps can’t be that late-inning pinch hitter I’d hoped for. He won’t unplug my breathing tube or overdoes me with morphine or anything like that. But this is the first time today that anyone has acknowledged what I have lost. I know that the social worker warned Gran and Gramps not to upset me, but Gramps’s recognition, and the permission he just offered me–it feels like a gift.
Gramps doesn’t leave me. He slumps back into the chair. It’s quiet now. So quiet you can almost hear other people’s dreams. So quiet that you can almost hear me tell Gramps, ‘Thank you.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Gramps, 2:48 AM, Page 161
“It’s quiet now. So quiet that can almost hear other people’s dreams.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 2:48 AM, Page 162
“Waiting for Vengeance’
Well, what is this?
What am I coming to?
And beyond that, what am I gonna do?
Now there’s blankness
Where once your eyes held the light
But that was so long ago
That was last nightWell, what was that?
What’s that sound that I hear?
It’s just my lifetime
Its whistling past my ear
And when I look back
Everything seems smaller than life
The way it’s been for so long
Since last nightNow I’m leaving
Any moment I’ll be gone
I think you’ll notice
I think you’ll wonder what went wrong
I’m not choosing
But I’m running out of fight
And this was decided so long ago
It was last night”~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Lyrics of a song written by Mia’s father, 2:48 AM, Page 168-69
“I’m not choosing, but I’m running out of fight.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Lyrics of a song written by Mia’s father, 2:48 AM, Page 169
“Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Denny Hall, 2:48 AM, Page 172
If I Stay 4:57 AM
“Please Mia,” he implores. “Don’t make me write a song.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 4:57 AM, Page 177
“I wasn’t totally immune to the charms of the opposite sex, but I wasn’t one of those romantic, swoony girls who had pink fluffy daydreams about falling in love.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 4:57 AM, Page 177
“he kissed me hard. “Promise me. Promise me you’ll spend New Year’s with me next year,” he whispered into my ear.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator and Adam Wilde, 4:57 AM, Page 184
“But seventeen is an inconvenient time to be in love.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kat Hall, 4:57 AM, Page 187
“Life might take you down different roads. But each of you gets to decide which one to take.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kat Hall, 4:57 AM, Page 188
“But I’d understand if you chose love, Adam love, over music love. Either way you win. And either way you lose. What can I tell you? Love’s a bitch.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kat Hall, 4:57 AM, Page 189
If I Stay 5:42 AM
“Even going to jail would be easy compared to losing you.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kim Schein, 5:42 AM, Page 194
“Losing me will hurt; it will be the kind of pain that won’t feel real at first, and when it does, it will take her breath away.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:42 AM, Page 195
“And I bet she’ll be a stronger person because of what she’s lost today. I have a feeling that once you live through something like this, you become a little bit invincible.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:42 AM, Page 195
“I have a feeling that once you live through something like this, you become a little bit invincible.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:42 AM, Page 195
“I do have a point to all this,” she continues. “There are like twenty people in that waiting room right now. Some of them are related to you. Some of them are not. But we’re all your family.” She stops now. Leans over me so that the wisps of her hair tickle my face. She kisses me on the forehead. “You still have a family,” she whispers.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Kim Schein, 5:42 AM, Page 197
“I remember watching it all and getting the tickling in my chest and thinking to myself: This is what happiness feels like.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 5:42 Am, Page 202
If I Stay 7:16 AM
“Then I smell the sweat on him, a clean musky scent that I’d bottle and wear as perfume if I could. ”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 7:16 AM, Page 205
“All I can think about is how fucked up it would be for your life to end here, now. I mean I know that your life if fucked up no matter what now, forever. And I’m not dumb enough to think that I can undo that, that anyone can. But I can’t wrap my mind around the notion of you not getting old, having kids, going to Juilliard, getting to play that cello in front of a huge audience, so that they can get the chills the way I do every time I see you pick up your bow, every time I see you smile at me.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 7:16 AM, Page 206
“I’ll let you go. If you stay.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 7:16 AM, Page 207
“If you stay, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll quit the band, go with you to New York. But if you need me to go away, I’ll do that, too. I was talking to Liz and she said maybe coming back to your old life would be too painful, that maybe it’d be easier for you to erase us. And that would suck, but I’d do it. I can lose you like that if I don’t lose you today. I’ll let you go. If you stay.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Adam Wilde, 7:16 AM, Page 207
. “It’s like the piano and the cello are being poured into my body, the same way the IV and blood transfusions are. And the memories of my life as it was, and the flashes of it as it might be, are coming so fast and furious. I feel like I can no longer keep up with them but they keep coming and everything is colliding, until I cannot take anymore. Until I cannot be like this a second longer.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 7:16 AM, Page 208
If I Stay: The Story Behind The Story
“Love can make you immortal”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, The Story Behind the Story, Page 208
“Adam is crying and somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I’m feeling things at last. I’m feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, 7:16 AM, Page 209
“And that’s just it, isn’t it? That’s how we manage to survive the loss. Because love, it never dies, it never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it.”
~Gayle Forman, If I Stay, Mia Hall as the narrator, The Story Behind the Story, Page 211